STEP UP in UTAH

I think about all the things that we, as women, do before a first date. Not the primping and gussying up, but instead the things we do for our safety. The things that have become second nature. We hardly even think that it might not be normal. We ruin the mystery of "prince charming" with a full google history, a check for arrest warrants, maybe even a background check. We set up a time to check in with a friend. Even have a time for that friend to call to make sure we are safe and help get us out of any bad or uncomfortable situations.

We pack our mace next to our lipstick. Make sure we meet at an anonymous location. Don't give out specifics like where we work, our last name, and especially where we live. This isn't paranoia, this is safety. I've heard this called offensive by men who believe they are the "good guys". I've also heard the victim blamed when she didn't have these safety guards in place and that good guy became violent.

Currently there is a bill before the Utah State legislature to provide equal protection from violent abusers under the law. This bill is backed by many, including the Sandy City Police Dept, YWCA and Rep. Jen Seelig. Currently you are only entitled to a protective order if you are married, living with or have a child with some who attacks you: if you are dating someone who turns vicious, you stand alone.


We seek to change that.

Here are some media links you might want to look at about today's triumph of getting this bill one step closer to action:

AND
http://www.abc4.com/content/news/top_stories/story/New-bill-looks-to-protect-all-Utah-women-from/5Flzj4ne-EyqXGYXGfz9rw.cspx

Then, you should sign the petition supporting this bill here:
http://signon.org/sign/i-support-the-dating

Why I Rise - 32

You asked why I rise?  I rise because I've worked in mental health in the field of treating sexual violence for almost 20 years now, and I've seen the havoc and devastation it's wreaked....on both sides.  I've gotten to see girls and women shattered by perhaps the ultimate invasion and betrayal, especially as most such violence comes from people they knew.  I know of depression, anxiety, flashbacks, substance abuse and suicide that followed after those kinds of abuses.  I also have seen men wrecked by the realization of what they had done.  Too many didn't understand just what they were doing before it was done.  It doesn't excuse the actions they took. It doesn't absolve the responsibility.  It does, however, beg the question where those ideas were spawned and learned.  Far too often, it came from others who promulgated that such violence is, in whatever twisted way, acceptable, the way things "should" be, the way they ARE.  For everyone's sake, that has to change.  It has to end.  Violence has never been a long-term antidote for violence.  It takes courage, conviction, compassion, dedication and faith.  So, to represent all those things, I choose to rise....I choose to STAND.
 - Anonymous
Salt Lake City, Utah